Something that has gained widespread popularity over the years is "white trash" & "redneck"-themed parties. Since us folk that are actually labeled as such take great pride in it, let's see how genuine these imposters are & give a little critique..
These two are a rip-roaring duo.
-I am digging the PBR hat but let's face it, was a Natty ICE hat not up for grabs? A John Deere hat? A NASCAR hat? PBR is fine and all since we prefer our drinks cheap and with alcohol content. I guess it'll do just fine. Now the tattoo's.
-You guys couldn't whip up a nice homemade tattoo gun & just do it the RIGHT way? Lose the Sharpie's. A little stick-n-poke never hurt anyone.
- Guy with the fake handlebar mustache... are you a baby in a man's body? I don't think so. Grow that 'stache out like a man, boy!
-Also to the guy with the fake handlebar mustache, lose the girly-tinted shades! No good man I know would be seen in those things! Have you lost your damn mind!
Onto photo #2,
-Lose that blue Solo cup & grap a RED ONE.
-Use that dart board behind you and stop dilly-dallying around.
#3,
These two need to just give it up.
-POISON?!?! Throw on a Hank Williams shirt for christsake! Camouflage shirt. Anything but that silly ass nonsense. ACDC? I will settle with. You tried woman.
-Get the 3/4 sleeve shirts off & throw on an ACTUAL tee shirt. Noone 'round my parts would wear that. Believe that.
-Bandana around the wrist? I don't get it. Put it around your forehead to catch the sweat droplets as you're walking to the gas station to pick me up a case of beer.
-That house décor behind you leads me to believe that you aren't even in a good southern home. Go outside. Make a fire. Hunt. Get some moonshine. Just get out of that ugly ass house.
-Your phone's don't appear to be smart phone's. That is a plus.
Here we go, I saved the worst for last. #4,
I just don't fuckin' know with these two terrible excuses.
-BOARD SHORTS.
-THERE IS A FOUNTAIN. If this were in a real redneck neighborhood, the closest you'd find to that is a sprinkler.
-What do you have in that paper bag, boy? I think you're just covering up the fact that you drink one of those disgraces to alcohol, like Smirnoff Wild Cherry or Mike's Hard Lemonade. You look like you would drink that.
-Your jean shorts look pre-ripped. I don't think you would last 10 minutes around the women 'round here.
-Those bushes behind you look very well-manicured.
-Nice pose with your other hand, boy. You fixin' to give a handjob?
-Us folk do not buy shirts that have printed on it, "DRINKING TEAM". We grab a white tee shirt and we write on it with Sharpie.
-To note, the guy has one good thing going for him. He has, what looks to be, a real TERRIBLE tattoo. Bad tattoo's are a dime a dozen in the trailer park.
That has been your first edition of Fake White Trash.
If you attend any of these parties imitating what real American life should be like & snap/find any photo's from such, send 'em on in to be critiqued, like so.
